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by staticsky
Summary: Pretending not to care just because she cared so much – it was the hardest thing Blake had ever done.


_**A/N:** I'm hoping the line breaks work. Sorry if they don't; it's not for lack of trying._

* * *

It was a shame she had to move around so much, because she _liked_ looking out at Patch. She liked it in the same way she liked staring down at the gauntlet that had once graced Yang's right arm. A painful way, reminding her of what she'd left behind.

She told herself she didn't regret leaving. Deep down, she knew it was a complete and utter lie, but the lie was one of the only things keeping her going, these days.

In all honesty, it wasn't doing that good of a job. The constant ache worked better. It was the reason she almost always found a spot overlooking Patch, was always tracing her fingers along Ember Celica's well-crafted edges. She'd figured out how to unlock it, and she'd listen to the familiar click and whir over and over…usually with tears streaming down her face.

* * *

Vale, outside the safe zone, was dead quiet aside from the growls and screeches of the Grimm congregating around what was left of the tower. A mist was constantly rolling above, half-concealing the massive dragon frozen there.

She wasn't positive what had happened. From what she'd picked up through gossip, a few people had seen a red blur fly up the side of the tower, and then a brilliant flash of pure white light.

The red blur sounded like Ruby, but Blake had no idea what the light could've been.

Regardless of what exactly had happened, the major Grimm threat was temporarily neutralized, and the others being distracted was just what Blake needed for what she had to do.

The White Fang had been in the area, so she knew they _had_ to have had a base somewhere. They'd likely abandoned the Mountain Glenn one after the train incident, and she was decently sure they wouldn't try the _same_ warehouse she and Sun had visited when infiltrating the rally. Still, she had memories of enough White Fang bases to assume that checking warehouses in general would be a good way to start her search.

* * *

When it was cold, she'd curl up and close her eyes and think of Yang. She was always so full of fire, full of life, and her smile had _always_ warmed Blake on days when she needed it. Every grin, every wink, every time they'd brushed arms or Yang had hugged her…she had them all memorized, somehow. It was as though she'd known her past would one day catch up with her, and she'd need the memories to keep her going as she ran from it.

Sometimes she'd flip through pictures of Team RWBY on her scroll, hands shaking as she took in the smiling faces of her friends. Could she even call them that anymore? None of them had heard what Adam had said, unless Sun had told them. None of them knew _why_ she'd left. To them it just looked like she'd run off. Run away from them.

Pretending not to care just because she cared _so much_ – it was the hardest thing Blake had ever done.

* * *

After weeks of searching, she'd finally found what was left of the base. She'd slaughtered the Grimm overrunning it and pored over everything she could find.

There wasn't much. All they'd left were a few unmarked maps of Vale and a couple documents that detailed old dealings with Torchwick. Nothing that could lead her to…to _him_.

She screamed in frustration, crumpling the sheet she held in her hand and flinging it across the room with all her might. How was she supposed to find Adam and end this if there was no trail to follow?

Crumpling to her knees in the corner, she finally let herself cry for the first time since she'd been holding Yang's hand. It felt like it had been an eternity.

* * *

Was there even a point anymore?

If Adam wasn't here…would it be safe to go back?

She stood, staring out over the water again, Ember Celica still tucked safely in her bag. Could she even face Yang, after all that had happened? It had been a long time. There was snow on the ground, now – fall had ended, ushering in the cold silence of winter. It was _so_ cold – too cold for her to sleep in these little alcoves anymore. It'd be too dangerous for her to show her face anywhere regularly, so finding an apartment was too risky. And going anywhere other than drafty warehouses would lead her into the path of security cameras, which she likewise didn't want, in case the White Fang was somehow watching. (Not likely, but she could never be too careful.)

They were chances she'd have to take, though, if she wanted to survive a winter alone in Vale. But was it riskier for her to stay and try to figure something out, or to go back, beg for Yang's forgiveness, and maybe find an actual _home_ to stay in? Would crawling back now be admitting defeat, or indicating a willingness to…to grow up? To ask for help when she needed it?

She'd realized how stupid this had been. Sun's words had stuck with her, echoing in her head over and over again. _Fucking misguided_. Ugh, she'd really been an idiot, hadn't she? She knew what Adam was capable of, even more so now that it had been made so personal. How would she ever have been able to face him? He'd slice her apart in an instant, promise or no promise.

Yeah. It was time to head to Patch, at least. Maybe she wouldn't go knocking on the Xiao Long door anytime soon, but it'd at least be a change.

With the last of the money she'd scraped together during her mission, she bought a black hooded sweatshirt (she'd rather not be recognized before she _wanted_ to be) and a boat ticket to Patch, printed "USE WITHIN 30 DAYS" in large block letters.

 _Home_ , she thought, even though there was no guarantee of that being true.

* * *

Waiting in the crowd, she thought she saw a flash of scarlet hair. A jacket embroidered in red and white. The long, thin sheath containing the sword that had set all this in motion.

She was probably just imagining it, or combining things she was seeing into one single terrifying image. But she couldn't shake the way her heart pounded, ears rang, hands shook.

She let out a long breath, wiped away the single tear that had escaped her, and stuffed the ticket into her bag. Without a sound, she disappeared back into the shadows of Vale.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** You can find me on tumblr at rainandstatic._


End file.
